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Stan’s got the cure

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I sent a friend a short e-mail that said, “If Donald gets elected, Melania will become the second most beautiful first lady ever. The most beautiful first lady? That would be Barbara Bush, of course.”

Okay, so she’s not the most beautiful first lady. It’s just that she reminds me so much of my wife’s mother — and she was absolutely beautiful. I’m sure I told you more than once that Carol is beautiful. She gets to look more and more like her mother every day. Now, speaking of mothers…

I remember my mother telling me that when she came to America, the ship went to Ellis Island where everyone was checked for diseases, lice, and anything that may be contagious. I don’t know what the current administration is doing. It seems that very little is being checked.

In 2014, more than 20 percent of immigrants who resettled in Minnesota tested positive for latent tuberculosis. One out of every five people sounds to me like a lot more than it should be. Legal immigrants are supposed to be screened for contagious diseases. How about all those illegal or — to make it sound nice — the undocumented immigrants?

They are being checked for nothing. Every time I return from another cruise, there are signs and police officers reminding me that it is illegal to bring a piece of fruit into the U.S. One apple, one pear, or one banana coming in with me, and I may be fined $250. But — and a big but it is — nobody knows if a passenger is entering our territory with rubella, syphilis, hepatitis, or consumption. Bananas they check for — tuberculosis, they don’t. Those bananas must be really dangerous.

• • •

Pfizer Pharmaceuticals just joined the ranks of those chemical manufacturers who refuse to sell lethal injection products it manufactures to prisons for the purpose of carrying out capital punishments. I am the proud owner of several shares of Pfizer, and I am particularly interested in what it is doing and why.

In a recent statement the company said, “Pfizer makes its products to enhance and save the lives of the patients we serve. We strongly object to the use of our products as lethal Injections for capital punishment.”

So what’s the big deal? If chemicals are not able to be obtained, let’s go back to the executions the old-fashioned way. Either we have capital punishment, or we don’t have it. Many of us are for it. Google the question, “How many Americans favor the death penalty?” You will note that, depending on who is doing the asking, 60–69 percent of this country shout, “Yes!” So let’s look at the old-fashioned way — firing squad, electric chair, gas chamber, and public hanging.

Those of you who disagree with me argue that I am no better than the vermin I want to eradicate. No way!

Don’t you dare tell me that I am equal to Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. I didn’t go to the Boston Marathon for the purpose of killing people. That S.O.B. is still getting three hots and a cot, hospitalization without a policy, and more — after murdering three people and injuring another 264.

I believe that the city of Boston should Rent Fenway Park for the purpose of a public hanging. Charge $5 a head with all proceeds going to a victims’ relief fund. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net telling you that I will be happy to buy the first 10 tickets.

Read Stan Gershbein's column every Monday on BrooklynDaily.com.
Updated 11:48 am, January 16, 2019
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