Trump this: The Donald-themed massage raises money for Dem’s campaign

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Trump this: Get a rubdown, and feel the Bern!

A Prospect Heights masseuse is helping Brooklynites ease their anxiety about the increasing likelihood that Donald Trump will become the Republican nominee with a special rubdown package dubbed the “Moneybags Massage,” with a portion of all sales going to raise money for Brooklyn-born Bernie Sanders’s grassroots presidential campaign.

“A lot of people are really nervous about Trump being the Republican nominee,” said Darcy Stockton, who is donating 20-percent of the proceeds from the rubdowns to the liberal’s campaign.

Stockton came up with the idea for the extra-luxe $200 massages after reading a Washington Post article about how more people are visiting psychologists and masseuses to confront their fears about the short-fingered vulgarian making it all the way to the oval office.

Her two-hour, money-scented rubdown, first reported by Brokelyn, includes a peppermint foot rub and hot orange scalp massage that is “beautifully orange scented, but not as orange” as the spray-tanned businessman, according to Stockton’s website. The package also includes the option to cover your body in gold-shimmer lotion and emerge looking like one of Trump’s towers.

And she’s not just appealing to the upper-echelon — her “99-percent” package is a 30-minute massage “fit for the most socially liberal Vermonter.”

Stockton — who has been easing stress for five years — says she’s offering to work her magic fingers to the bone because The Donald’s discriminatory policies have people pulling their hair out.

“Some of the ideas he has are very scary and very reminiscent of 1930s Germany,” she said.

A Downtown psychologists said that she hasn’t seen an uptick in her patients venting about Trump, but claimed election-induced anxiety can be brought on by any person who could possibly gain a powerful position, including the real estate mogul.

“I think he’s triggering pre-existing anxieties,” said Dr. Elise Feldman. “Anybody who has the potential to come into power has the capacity to increase people’s anxiety when their views differ.”

She added that Republicans could also be experiencing the same anxieties about the Democratic candidates, but no one is offering massages for them because Brooklyn — America’s largest Democratic county — bleeds blue.

Reach reporter Lauren Gill at or by calling (718) 260–2511. Follow her on Twitter @laurenk_gill
Updated 10:17 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

Elise Feldman, PhD from Downtown BK says:
My position was misrepresented in this article. I specifically responded stating that, no, election-induced anxiety is NOT a "condition" onto itself before going on to explain what I understand of the uptic in anxiety for some people provoked by Trump. A condition implies a disease or illness. If you are prone to anxiety and/or have reason to believe the person who will be granted executive power over you disagrees with your core values and beliefs, the result will likely be increased anxiety. Moreover, if you are told that person will label you and loved ones as "others," and ostracize you, that would bring about anxiety in most anyone. The experience of strong or persistent anxiety is not always disorder, sometimes it is a protective mechanism to encourage a person to flee or fight a dangerous situation.
March 8, 2016, 9:16 am
darcy stockton from prospect heights says:
I would just like to say I created this massage as a fun thing after last weeks absurdist article in the Washington Post about an uptick in patients with anxieties about Donald Trump. Its supposed to be fun aand kitschy not to be taken too seriously. Yet that wasn't represeted
March 8, 2016, 9:29 am
Mike from Williamsburg says:
Well, these comments so far don't make the Brooklyn Paper look very good.
March 8, 2016, 9:33 am
Brooklyngersh from The WT says:
Well, it was obviously a controversial story! Gotta respect the BP for diving in!
March 8, 2016, 2:18 pm
Tom from Ft. Greene says:
Really, Gersh? Was that your editorial mantra when the remake happened and journalism turned into...this?
March 9, 2016, Noon
Joe from Greenpoint says:
HaHa Everyone can see that Bernie is going to win it all. Hahahahahahahhah
I don't really care but Hahahahahahahah
March 10, 2016, 9:36 pm

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