Trump this: Get a rubdown, and feel the Bern!
A Prospect Heights masseuse is helping Brooklynites ease their anxiety about the increasing likelihood that Donald Trump will become the Republican nominee with a special rubdown package dubbed the “Moneybags Massage,” with a portion of all sales going to raise money for Brooklyn-born Bernie Sanders’s grassroots presidential campaign.
“A lot of people are really nervous about Trump being the Republican nominee,” said Darcy Stockton, who is donating 20-percent of the proceeds from the rubdowns to the liberal’s campaign.
Stockton came up with the idea for the extra-luxe $200 massages after reading a Washington Post article about how more people are visiting psychologists and masseuses to confront their fears about the short-fingered vulgarian making it all the way to the oval office.
Her two-hour, money-scented rubdown, first reported by Brokelyn, includes a peppermint foot rub and hot orange scalp massage that is “beautifully orange scented, but not as orange” as the spray-tanned businessman, according to Stockton’s website. The package also includes the option to cover your body in gold-shimmer lotion and emerge looking like one of Trump’s towers.
And she’s not just appealing to the upper-echelon — her “99-percent” package is a 30-minute massage “fit for the most socially liberal Vermonter.”
Stockton — who has been easing stress for five years — says she’s offering to work her magic fingers to the bone because The Donald’s discriminatory policies have people pulling their hair out.
“Some of the ideas he has are very scary and very reminiscent of 1930s Germany,” she said.
A Downtown psychologists said that she hasn’t seen an uptick in her patients venting about Trump, but claimed election-induced anxiety can be brought on by any person who could possibly gain a powerful position, including the real estate mogul.
“I think he’s triggering pre-existing anxieties,” said Dr. Elise Feldman. “Anybody who has the potential to come into power has the capacity to increase people’s anxiety when their views differ.”
She added that Republicans could also be experiencing the same anxieties about the Democratic candidates, but no one is offering massages for them because Brooklyn — America’s largest Democratic county — bleeds blue.