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Sno-nado! Joanna battens down the hatches!

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The worst storm in history?! The likes of which we have never seen!? OMG! The end is near, Chicken Little. The snow is falling, the snow is falling!

That’s what the weathermen, the mayor, and the governors of three states sounded like. We were all in a panic!

And this time, no one would be outsmarted by Mother Nature. Public officials were not going to be left out in the storm without a press-agent or a snow plan in sight so they closed roads, halted public transportation, and locked down the city tighter than a Tupperware seal.

And then, flurries.

Yes, parts of the state did get hit hard, but not as hard as the purveyors of weather predictors had us believe. The Ice Age was not at hand and the Day After never happened.

Even before the first flake fell on Monday, the supermarket I went to was in a chaotic frenzy. Shoppers were stuffing the wagons (if you could find one) with all the food groups necessary for a long hunker-down Nor’easter storm siege — milk, bread, Ring Dings, chips, soda, and cookies. My own wagon was stuffed with healthy choices as well, avocado (for guacamole), corn tortillas (I couldn’t find the ready-made ones), and Oreos. Hey, I wasn’t going to face the storm of the century without an Oreo stash.

When I finally got into the store, after searching for an hour for a spot where I could at least see the entrance, I dodged the wagon-warriors who were charging up the aisles, grabbing whatever was left on the near-empty shelves and over-filling the carts to the breaking-point.

After the mad grab, we all raced to the front of the store and jockeyed for a good spot on line. Once there, we shoppers heaved a sigh of relief. We made it to the finish line before the end was upon us. With the determination of foodaholics on a bender, we began the wait — very impatiently — to begin the end process of the tournament.

The inpatient shoppers cried, “You can’t cut the line” as crafty line-jumpers tried to beat the wait and sneak ahead of one another. One very wise lady in front of me opined, “Sheesh!, It’s only snow. Do these people really not have enough food to last a day?”

“True that,” I thought.

So I loaded, paid, and unloaded and made my way home. Meanwhile, back at the ranch my husband Bob battened down the hatches and prepared for the snowmageddon storm of the century.

Not for Nuthin™, but does the Syfy channel have dibs on this one? “Snow-Nado hits NYC” Spring 2015 release. I wonder, can we get Ian Ziering and Tara Reid to reprise their “SharkNado” roles? Snow happens!

Follow me on Twitter @JDelBuono.

Joanna DelBuono writes about national issues every Wednesday on BrooklynDaily.com. E-mail her at jdelbuono@cnglocal.com.
Updated 11:48 am, January 16, 2019
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