I’m hotter than a fresh-from-the-fryer powdered zeppole over the fact that whenever I go out to eat, they always add in the tip automatically because I eat as much as six people or more!
Look, you all know the ol’Screecher can’t wait to escape Bensonhurst and head down to Atlantic City every chance I get, even if I know doing so could kill me! So you could guess how excited I was the other day when my lovely wife, Sharon, requested my presence with her for a birthday celebration down south in the land Monopoly made famous.
And as I’ve told you before, while Sharon is as good a slot jockey you’ll find, the only thing I ever gamble with is my stomach muscle — meaning I try to get enough in there to last me a week, even if I know for sure no matter what I do, I’ll be hungry again when I wake up!
This time around, Sharon requested we head over to the Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville because it was so cold outside she wanted some spicy food to warm her up. I’d never been there before, but I was excited by the fact that this singer’s last name is my favorite type of food line (although I was shocked when I got inside and found out it wasn’t all-you-can-eat!).
Anyways, Sharon loved her Buttermilk Fried Pancakes and Chicken ala Country Chicken Mexican Style while I dug into the Volcano Taco Salad, and I loved so much I ate it for four days straight!
Now, I know exactly what you’re thinking: “Carmine, how the heck can you eat the same thing every night and deny yourself the variety that you yourself say is the spice of life?”
My answer is you got it all wrong. I ate it for four days straight, meaning I never left the table, and just kept ordering another and another!
Sharon, of course, left me for the penny slots, but came back to get me when she heard there was a $25 prix fix menu in an elegant restaurant with views that were reminiscent of Venice.
Which reminds me that Mel Brooks once told me that the way to make a Venetian blind was to take your finger and go “Kerplunk!”
Anyways, the service at this new restaurant was just perfect with soft Sinatra music in the background to help you savor your wine. The three-course Sunday menu gave you a choice of Caesar or house salad, one of three pasta entrees, plus a dessert of cannolis.
We both chose the rigatoni with meatballs, and I had four (count ’em, four!) cannolis while Sharon opted in for the strawberry ice cream. Between the bread, butter and oil, we took home a lot of food! Sharon had picked two great restaurants which will see us again on our next trip.
Now’s the time to make a right turn to help me make it to my word count.
I’m officially happy to report that my favorite Republican is giving the Donald a too-close race for Donald’s billions. I saw an interview with Dr. Ben Carson and he’s just about matched the Donald’s numbers, here’s a case of a head full of red hair versus a head full of functioning brains. Carson’s brilliant, speaks well, and carries a big stick of knowledge and facts. He’s got my vote!
Football, politics and basketball hogged the media as expected and “Dancing with the Stars” lost Paula Deen, leaving only young people dancing. However, Wednesday nights’ free Tango and Ballroom classes is starting to grow and grow and grow and registration is still open, call (718) 259–2828 for details, and tell them you want to learn to dance with the Screecher!
By the way, I just went to the F line that serves the tens of thousands of senior residents in the heart of Coney Island (Neptune Avenue and Shell Road, it has one of the highest senior populations in the city) and was shocked — shocked — to learn that it doesn’t have an elevator to get those seniors to and from the platform. I heard Councilman Mark Treyger is working to have an elevator installed so the seniors could escape possible future Sandy catastrophes, not to mention head to South Brooklyn for a meal on Court Street.
There is a pitiful number of elevators that handicapped seniors can take on the present system. I know because Tornado and I have rode it and written about this problem in the past!
So let’s hope for the best and give Councilman Treyger our support to better Mass Transit for everybody.
Screech at you next week!