Carmine spins a tale like no other

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Call me Screecher. Some days ago — never mind how long precisely — having little or no money in my purse and nothing of particular interest to me on the Zenith in the living room, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.

I hopped upon my trusty steed and headed for the only place I could remember where I could, for but a small price, travel the ocean to a far-off land.

But upon my arrival at the 69th Street pier on the ridge of the bay, I quickly surmised that the boat upon which I routinely booked passage as a child was no longer afloat. Nay, even the dock upon which it would be fast no longer existed.

In its stead I found a new pier jutting out into the ocean upon which many an angler cast a line.

Curious, I approached said fisherman and queried whether or not any of the leviathans down below were partaking in this game of cat and mouse.

Lo, he told me, he’d been there for hours on end and not a nibble had he received.

It was then that he began to weave a tale the likes of which I had never heard before.

I knew in an instant I would have to dive into the go-bag I carry with me at all times and pull out my voice recorder so I could retell said tale in a way befitting the great storytellers of the past.

Apparently, his good friend Annye Cohen started the “Adopt-a-Senior” holiday program after seeing how tough this time of year can be for people of a certain age at the local senior center. She began by choosing one floor of the building and inviting friends and family to each “adopt” a resident and buy them a gift. The seniors were thrilled! The next year, the residents of two floors were adopted, and 10 years and many gifts later, the program has grown even bigger, and now it covers 400 residents in the 10-story building.

“To be there when we distribute presents is amazing,” she exclaimed.

At this point I had to pose the following query, seeing as though there is no senior more deserving of presents than yours truly:

“I’m a senior, adopt me!”

I was told that this could not happen out of fear that feeding me would require all the nourishment presently being provided to a good number of people.

Of course, Annye does not do it alone. She and her mom Sharyne have been teaching their septuagenarians, octogenarians and nonagenarian basic computer skills. Looking more like sisters than mother and daughter, mom says the secret of looking young is to keep your mind young and always keeping busy. Mind you, mom is a full-time legal secretary and aside of maintaining house and home, they raise their loving pet “Pebbles,” which is actually the fifth generation of the Cohen family. Hooray for the Cohens, friends and cohorts. Huzzah!

I was also informed that Linda Dalton is being honored by her school IS 228 for her valuable contributions to the community and the district. Again, huzzah!

As per usual, Black Monday and Black Tuesday took their toll on the amount of residents that came to BWECC!’s Open Community Meeting to meet 62nd Precinct Community Affairs Officer Nick Morin, who gave an extensive presentation on identity theft, giving out informative brochures.

He also took the time to field complaints on the many muggings in the PS 212 community. Seniors are upset about the close proximity and frequency of these crimes and Officer Morin took the information to alert the 60th Precinct command. A motion was made that BWECC! send a letter to the 60th Precinct and to carbon-copy it to Brooklyn South. We are now off to buy carbon paper.

Steve Zeltser, from the Brooklyn Borough President’s office, introduced himself to the council informing us that he is the one to contact at Borough Hall for any help or needs. So he will also receive a carbon copy of the letter being sent to the NYPD.

Our good friend Eddie Mark from Community Board 13 brought us up to date on Thanksgiving meals being given throughout the district, and the seniors asked him to intervene and possibly initiate similar food programs for our needy BWECC! seniors, many who are now afraid to travel.

So between the continuing horrors and problems of Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and the much-touted White Wednesday snow blizzard, I hope you all had a better Thanksgiving turkey than the turkey you and yours gobbled up. It was quite dry.

Screech at you next week!

Read Carmine's screech every Sunday on E-mail him at
Updated 10:17 pm, July 9, 2018
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