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Why aren’t my kitties celebricats?

Brooklyn Daily
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There are times when my level of tolerance for fads, “OMG” moments and what constitutes fame in this country reaches a saturation point and then I just spew like Mount Vesuvius. This is one of those weeks.

Between the Instagram sensation Grumpy Cat and the resurrection of Morris the Cat (how old is he in cat years now?) I want to know three things: why is a cat with a sour puss making a six-figure salary; what will the cat do with all that money anyway; and where is the fame and fortune for my two feline friends?

Furthermore, why have we made so many celebricats in the first place? (Hey, did I just coin the term Celebricat? I guess that constitutes my 15 minutes of literary fame).

Onward to Grumpy Cat’s cat-a-pult into fame. The miserable mugged feline (apparently, she has a grumpy looking face due to a genetic condition) reached cat-o-strophic proportions on Youtube (where else?). She appeared on the media scene Sept. 2012 and has since been featured on Friskies commercials, has attended multiple paw-printing events, and featured on the front page of the Wall Street Journal and the cover of New York Magazine. To top it all off, she has a thriving Facebook page and now, after achieving electronic, video, audio, and print fame is looking forward to movie stardom with a Lifetime Christmas movie: “Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever,” which premiers on Nov. 29.

What, no crunchy treats?

I just have to SMH over this one.

Okay, back to why I’m letting out lava and sharpening my claws — I want to know why I haven’t been able to cash in on the cat craze? My two puss ’n’ boots have been in my column numerous times — in Christmas poems, sustainable happiness, zipping into the tree, you get the picture — giving them immortality in print. Paw-Paw has a Facebook page (no kidding) and he has figured prominently on Instagram with a lot of likes (at least three!). Meanwhile, Snowy is quite known in the neighborhood (he runs away a lot). Yet neither cat has garnered a six-figure salary or the attention of the paparazzi they so richly deserve.

What is wrong with this picture I ask?

Not for Nuthin’™, I’m just letting all you celebricat publicists and cat-casters out there know — Paw Paw is ready for his close-up and he works real cheap, he can be had for a can of Fancy Feast and a good belly rub. Just visit his Facebook page.

Follow me on Twitter @JDelBuono.

Joanna DelBuono writes about national issues — such as celebrity cats — every Wednesday on BrooklynDaily.com. E-mail her at jdelbuono@cnglocal.com.
Updated 11:48 am, January 16, 2019
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