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Why don’t we do it in the road? Bike Smut festival presents pedal-powered pornography

The Brooklyn Paper
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Put the fun between your legs.

That is the motto of Bike Smut, a touring film festival that is not to be confused with Bike Feitsh Day. That festival’s name is a nod to the enthusiasm with which bicycle fanatics gather to gawk at the polished chrome and smooth rubber of the two-wheeled contraptions. But Bike Smut, which had its seventh annual annual romp on Friday at Bushwick’s Silent Barn, pairs ten-speeds and penny-farthings with actual pornography.

“It’s a sexual rainbow trust where people can be free to express their love of bikes and sex however they want,” said fest organizer Phil Sano, who travels the country on a bike-and-trailer combo he calls the Steely Wonder.

Earlier this summer, Sano left his hometown of Portland on Steely Wonder as he does every summer, to ride thousands of miles through the United States, Canada, and Mexico screening pedal-philic flicks.

This year’s festival, billed the Porny Express, featured an hour and a half of short smut selections. The first showed a guy pleasuring a gal by pedaling a Rube Goldberg-inspired, tall-bike-powered sex toy apparatus. Other premises included a group bike ride into the muddy swamps of Florida that ends dirtily, a German sex cult that turns new members into bicycles, and the adventures of a fetishist who trades bike tune-ups for erotic (to him) haircuts.

But the movie that best expressed the Porny Express theme was “The Hot, the Bold and the Foxy,” a thrilling, all-female remake of “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” complete with an Ennio Morricone soundtrack.

To Sano’s dismay, this year’s blue movie bash featured no films by New York City auteurs, so the nomadic porn peddler encouraged audience members to get busy making their own for next year.

In other words, Brooklyn, get on your bikes and ride.

Reach reporter Danielle Furfaro at dfurfaro@cnglocal.com or by calling (718) 260-2511. Follow her at twitter.com/DanielleFurfaro.
Updated 10:16 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

Every reader from the Internet says:
The writing in this story is absolutely confounding.
Nov. 5, 2013, 8:41 am
Rufus Leaking from BH says:
Bring your Lysol.

And remember - cold makes all men equal.
Nov. 5, 2013, 9:34 am
JAZ from Hunting Redbeards says:
Like Yahhhh, deeeeed
Nov. 5, 2013, 3:58 pm
Gasper Johnson from yer momma says:
Ennio Morricone brings the bike love?!? Bike ——in Italians!!!
Nov. 6, 2013, 1:30 pm
Moses kestenbaum ODA from Williamsburg says:
How about doing it with your wife in your own bedroom.? Low life scum for deviate sex should be the heading, why is sex getting so perverted? I guess it's gay marriage time
Nov. 8, 2013, 9:09 am

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