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Stan finds more stuff in his pockets

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Here some more interesting tidbits I found on the scraps of paper in my pockets:

The headline read – “Congress to exempt itself from Obamacare.” If the Affordable Care Act is good enough for 300 million people, why is it not good enough for our elected representatives? What they are really saying is “We could make laws that you must accept, but we don’t have to.” Hey, Chuck — that’s not very nice.

• • •

Have you noticed that whenever your physician misses your appointment, it is because “the doctor had an emergency and is running late.”

Yeah, right! He always has an emergency on the day that I am supposed to be there. So we pass the time by reading those year-old magazines sitting in the pile. Then we notice that everyone else is also reading them, including the sick people who cough and sneeze all over the open periodicals. A word of advice — bring your own reading material and keep a container of Purell with you at all times, especially when visiting your physician.

• • •

I was looking at the calendar to check my schedule and I just realized that this year Thanksgiving and Hanukah fall on the same day. Instead of yams and stuffing, many of us will be enjoying a side dish of potato latkes with our turkey.

• • •

From the Commerce Department: last month housing starts only rose .9 percent to an annual rate of 891,000 units, missing by a mile the expected of 917,000 units. Housing permits fell 3.8 percent to an annual rate of 918,000 units, missing estimates of 950,000. Why do the mouths in Washington tell us that the economy is getting better?

From the Labor Department: the number of Americans filing for first-time unemployment benefits rose last week to 309,000 from an upwardly revised 294,000 the week before and once again we hear that the economy is getting better. Where?

• • •

I can’t believe I’ve gone my whole life without hearing the word “polyandry.” Before you run to the internet dictionary, ask the person at the next desk if she knows what it is. Chances are that she isn’t familiar with it either. Okay, here’s the big hint: you do know what “polygamy” is, don’t you? So what is “polyandry? “

• • •

I was shopping on a busy avenue and couldn’t help but notice so many people walking by talking on their cellphones. What did we do before there were cellphones? We used telephone booths. Today, with no need for them, most of those booths are gone. That brings me to another very important question — where does Clark Kent go to change his clothes?

• • •

We began to hear more and more about gun control within minutes after the tragedy in the Washington Naval Yard. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net telling you that my two best friends, when I really needed them, were Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson. I will never fail their friendship.

Read Stan Gershbein's column every Monday on BrooklynDaily.com.
Updated 11:48 am, January 16, 2019
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