June 3, 2013 / Brooklyn news / Williamsburg / The Greatest Story Ever

Urine trouble! Disgusting thief takes splash guards from Williamsburg bar

The Brooklyn Paper
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Talk about taking a pee!

A presumably latex-glove-wearing thief has stolen three soccer-themed urinal splash guards out of the Williamsburg pub’s men’s room during the past few months.

The urinal guards, which owners Conor Carolan and Chris Keller bought off a novelty urinal cake website, feature a pair of miniature goal posts in the middle of a green field.

“A few months ago, one disappeared,” said Carolan. “Since then, a few more have been taken.”

Banter Bar, on Havemeyer Street, is a European-style pub that opens early in the morning so customers can catch international soccer games live.

Last year, when the owners first bought the goal post splash guards, customers showered them with praises, among other liquids.

“They became the focal point of the bathroom,” said Carolan.

Carolan even believed patrons were so focused on the guards, the bathrooms remained cleaner than they normally would be.

“People stopped writing graffiti on the walls,” he said.

But then, a thief started aiming for the goal and Carolan can’t imagine why.

“Are they centerpieces on someone’s dinner table or what?” he said.

Carolan said that he and Keller are undeterred, and will continue to buy and install the posts to ensure patrons hit the spot.

The brazen urinal robber isn’t the first person to pilfer from a Brooklyn bathroom this year. Earlier this spring, someone stole a brass toilet seat from Lighthouse BK, resulting in one of the best headlines in newspaper history.

Reach reporter Danielle Furfaro at or by calling (718) 260-2511. Follow her at
Updated 10:11 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

Or from Yellow Hook says:
i before e except after c.
June 3, 2013, 6:58 am
Johnny Hammersticks from Brooklyn says:
Danielle Furfaro continues to light the journalism world on fire with this literary masterpiece. Do you just hang around in Williamsburg bathroom waiting for things to get stolen so you can make stories out of them? That's some investigative journalism. This paper should be embarrassed. So should the college that gave you a degree.
June 3, 2013, 7:16 am
bengee from Coney says:
Boy an I pissed about this story.
June 3, 2013, 7:16 am
Or from Yellow Hook says:
And spell check.
June 3, 2013, 7:32 am
Mike from Williamsburg says:
I couldn't disagree more with the constantly miserable Johnny Hammersticks. I delighted in much of this article, especially this part: "Last year, when the owners first bought the goal post splash guards, customers showered them with praises, among other liquids."
June 3, 2013, 8:13 am
Mo Money from 1 Main Street says:
It was R. Kelly
June 3, 2013, 1:07 pm
jay from nyc says:
wow, and I though people stealing the toilet paper was the big scandal.......
June 3, 2013, 7:53 pm
Forfurrrrro from Fort Greeno says:
problem is, the headline annoyingly touted in last sentence is not even slightly amusing.
June 3, 2013, 8:39 pm

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