From the bottom of his heart, Carmine says he’s sorry

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I’m madder than that headline writer over at the Chicago Tribune whose sources insisted that President Truman had been trounced by Thomas Dewey over the fact that these days you can’t trust no one, not the least of which my most-trusted sources, who apparently deal with rumor and innuendo, and then feed me the information as if it is fact.

Look, you all know it takes a big man to admit when he has made a mistake, and you also know there is no bigger man than the ol’Screecher, and when he makes a mistakes, they are really a big ones.

So I must offer my apologies to the two moms whose names I accidentally besmirched (even though I never used their names) when I claimed right here in this space that one of them stepped out of her apartment — oh, you know the whole story, so I’m not going to rehash the whole thing, but the fact of the matter is the moms tell me now that they have never left their homes and everything is fine. And that’s just great.

Now, on to my usual 100-percent accurate insights based on events that happened directly to yours truly.

I gotta tell you that I received the royal treatment last week when I attended the United Federation of Teachers annual dinner at one of the Screecher’s favorite places, the fabulous El Caribe Country Club in fabulous Mill Basin. As usual, I got there just as the cocktail hour strarted and was able to partake in a spectacular abondanza that could easily feeded half of India. The Maitre d’ met Hurricane and me by the lift, and, after several tries, managed to get us up to the main floor. From there on in, not only did he cater to my every need, he made sure that his staff did too.

My lovely wife Sharon and I took the table nearest the entrance so I could greet everyone without missing a mouthful, and our table was totally full of pastas, ribs, meats, muscles, calamari, clams, paella, you name it, it was there, or soon brought over.

Now, I don’t need to tell you that the only way to serve a martini is with Grey Goose vodka, and I only had to order it on time, because my maitre d’ kept bringing me refills like it was a Cherry Coke.

Now, you may recall that I once complained in an earlier column that a 60-minute cocktail hour is really not adequate for me to consume what I’m accustomed to consuming, so when the lights start signaling the food fest hour was over I make my last rounds, collect what I can, and am undoubtedly the last one to leave — but not before I attack the fresh fruit table where the water melon was outstanding! Oh, man do I love watermelon!

But because I was so busy going through the left-for-Carmine, I missed all the speeches by the elected officials with their proclamations, their citations, and their congratulations. So today, I would like to congratulate all those deserving honorees that were honored.

After another Grey Goose pick-me-upper, I was allowed to enter the tiara room where the DJ was preparing his non-stop party music. Me and Hurricane have to be at the end of the table, with Sharon was at one end and this young woman Jody, who is a parent from Mark Twain Junior High. I introduced myself and Sharon and she said, “I know who you are, Mr. Santa Maria, everybody knows you and your lovely wife Sharon.” In the ensuing conversation, I found out that she has three daughters, her last one is going to Stuyvesant High School, the middle daughter is taking Dance at LaGuardia High School, and the oldest is graduating from Georgetown University. I gave her a thumps up for educating her daughters … three separate times.

Got to mention seeing District 21 legend Sam Amster. In his heyday, Sam picketed at City Hall, and initiated the beginning of the United Federation of Teachers. He later became the director of personnel, and remembers each interview he gave for the thousands he employed for the district. Happy to see my Project Learn grand-prize winner Mark Treyger, who teaches political science at New Utrecht High School and is the president of the United Progressive Demcratic Club. Mark was with his beautiful wife Christine and is running for council to replace Domenic M. Recchia who is term-limited and will be running for Republican Congressman Grimm’s seat.

Congrats to District 21 Representative Judy Gerowitz, Howard Schoor and his brother Mike Schoor and their slew of members, for a wonderful event and I would be remiss in not mentioning PS 128’s principal Marsha Robins and chapter leader Regina Nichilo and the faculty for the district Partnership Award. If I didn’t mention anyone’s name, please forgive me, as a lot of great people were there, and I had a lot of Grey Goose!

Screech at you next week!

Read Carmine's screech every Sunday on E-mail him at
Updated 10:11 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

nitpick from Cobble Hill says:
Another masterpiece column proving the need for spell check as well as Grammar usage?
June 2, 2013, 10:39 am
Scott from Sunnyside says:
The joy of carmine is he shoots from the hip, and speaks his mind. He plays to the beat of his own drum, and has his own rules which he meticulously adheres to.

There is a method to his madness, and you guys just haven't figured it out.

Don't listen to the naysayers, Carmine! Keep doing what you do, and have done for decades!

Oh, and Smartmom stunk.
June 2, 2013, 11:09 am
ty from pps says:
They should add a "Report abuse" button to articles.
June 2, 2013, 1:29 pm
T-Bone from DoBro says:
Scott, we realize that he follows a template. The template is crap. And the content on varies from week to week based on what feed bag was served at the local political patronage klatch - or the latest ordeal to transport his morbidly obese carcus around town.

Screech you next week! (Which alone is a true testimate to modern medicine)
June 2, 2013, 5:22 pm
T-Bone from DoBro says:
By the way, can you get a DUI on a mobility scooter?
June 2, 2013, 5:25 pm
B-Tone from Brooklyn says:
KEVIN MICHAEL CROW convicted of operating an electric mobility scooter in NC. Hopefully we'll get luck and the carmister will just swerve into the path of a garbage truck in a drunken diabetic blackout.
June 2, 2013, 6:41 pm
Joe from Dyker Heights says:
This column? feature? is the kind of thing I'd expect from the Hooterville, S Dakota, Weekly Hoot.
But this is Brooklyn.
June 3, 2013, 10:47 pm

Comments closed.

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