Kickball’s top eight teams are breezing through the playoffs.
The top-seeded John Cougar Mellencamps, second-seeded New Frontiersmen, and third-seeded Mathletes, along with the Pony Boys, Never Scared, Brooklyn United, and American Blood finished the second round of playoffs without a loss.
Last year’s champions, the Mellencamps, downed Salute Your Jorts and took out the SugarTits!, while the Pony Boys slammed Ramrod, 8–1, and drained Booze on First, 13–3, thanks to three in-the-park home runs by infielder Matt “Iron Mike” Tyson.
“We’re off to a fiery start,” said Pony Boys third baseman Priest “Deliverance” Fontaine. “We have a mastery of the small ball and deep ball — we’re all about the balls. There’s no stopping us.”
The New Frontiersmen pummelled the Pirates, 6–2, and shut out the Kikiables, 6–0, and American Blood boasted some impressive wins, defeating Baywatch, 18–8, and upending the feisty Bacon Bits, 7–6.
And for one weekend, it all added up for the Mathletes, who dominated the Kikiables, 10–0, and conquered the Pirates, 10–1.
In perhaps the toughest fought game of the weekend, a short-handed Never Scared edged Ramrod, 2-0, breaking a scoreless game in the top of the fifth with two runs following a costly Ramrod throwing error.
“Ramrod came so close — it kills me on the inside,” said League Commissioner Kevin “Commish” Dailey. “They couldn’t score any runs either, so what are you going to do?”
No teams that advanced past for first round of postseason finished the weekend with a winning record, severely diminishing their chances to advance to the finals.
In a playoff change, Dailey divided the league’s 16 remaining teams into two divisions which will play each other in a round robin format for the next three weeks.
The top two teams will advance to the finals, which will be played on Oct. 2. There are no semifinals, no wild cards or mercy wins — it’s an old-school baseball pennant race and the teams with the best records will print their finals ticket.
If this weekend lacked drama, next weekend will be filled with high stakes matchups.
The Mellencamps will be out for American Blood — a crucial game for two teams that made the semifinals last year. And People’s Court, which finished the weekend, 2–1, will get a shot at inching up in its division against rivals Brooklyn United.
And the New Frontiersmen will test their mettle against an underrated Never Scared team who has embodied September’s postseason mantra: survive and advance.
But kickball aficionados are rooting for the underdogs.
“I’m rooting for the Mathletes first because I have friends on the Mathletes,” said Hot Messer Ashley Terrill. “The Mellencamps always win.”