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You get what you pay for: tickets for parking legally!

for The Brooklyn Paper
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I’m madder than an catapedaphobic kangaroo forced to play hopscotch over the city’s insistence on ticketing people for parking even though they’ve coughed up their hard-earned cash to pay for the space they’re in.

Look, you all know that the city has installed these new-fangled “muni-meters” — which take credit cards as well as coins! — so we can pay interest on the 75¢ we pay to park when we go to the dry cleaner. Now, I’m not saying that’s such a bad thing, but I’ll tell you this — it’s a bad thing!

You all know that then when you make that trip to the dry cleaner, you don’t usually use up all the parking time for which you pay. So, when you have to go a few blocks to the bank, you might still have some extra time. And if you’re a tinge overweight like me, you might want to drive to your next stop. So it stands to reason that you should be able to use your ticket from these no-armed bandits over there, right? Of course I’m right!

But according to an exposé by Rich Calder in our sister newspaper, the New York Post, the city isn’t so clear on this. Apparently, officials at the Department of Transportation profess this is the case — but tell that to a judge after you’ve been ticketed, and he’ll usually find you guilty!

And that makes me — and Assemblyman Bill Colton (who, as you all know, I work for part-time, and, not necessarily because of it, but more so because the guy yaps my ear off and thoughts get stuck in my head, I occasionally mention him in this column) — mad!

“Carmine, this is a shell game for the city to make money that borders on fraud,” he said repeatedly while I was typing this. “The city has no rules to address these cases and is cashing in big time by purposely being vague.”

So there you have it, folks. Moving forward, I will no longer refer to it as the “Department of Transporta­tion.” No siree, Bob! I’m hereby calling it the “Department of Tickets!” That’s right. I control the language around here, and I’m not going to let some low-level city bureaucrats tell me what to call things!

Scooting over to another hot topic, angry moms have been told by the city that they’ll have to send their kids to a different school than the one they were promised if they want to put them in pre-K. And I’m angry, too! Apparently and at the last minute, the numbskulls at the Department of Education reassigned kids that were supposed to go to PS 101 to PS 226 — which is like 20 blocks away!

Now, look, you all know I’ll point out when the city does something nice (it happens so infrequently, that I can easily spare the ink), so I’ll point out in one long run-on sentence that the city tried to sweeten the pot by offering these hard-luck moms all-day pre-K classes, rather than the half-day session they were accepted into.

However (and this is a giant, screeching however), tell that to a pregnant mothers who would have to walk 27,400 steps — that’s right, I counted them! — and have their other tot tag along. And if you don’t like that, tell it to the mothers of siblings that now need jets to take them all back and forth.

It’s like being forced to take the subway to Century 21 on 86th Street when there are plenty of good stores right here on the Fulton Mall, many of which advertise in this very newspaper (although, to be honest, I don’t see many ads on that BrooklynDaily.com site. Jeez, I don’t want to tell anyone how to do his job, but that should be money in the bank. Somebody’s gotta sponsor the Screecher!). But I digress.

And I’ll tell you this, if Bloomberg wasn’t protected by his armor of money, he might find parents that could give him better direction than his costly, inept, incompetent, heartless and downright stupid Department of Education puppets, who seem to just follow orders.

Now’s the point in the column where I say something touching about 9-11. I would like to thank the Harway Terrace co-operators who didn’t forget the sacrifices made by two of their own sons — and all those that perished — on 9-11. Sunday morning, a wreath was placed at the flagpole dedicated to the remembrance of firefighters Louis Monaferri and Alan Feinberg, who lived at the houses. Thank you, and to all those who came out (and even those who didn’t), “We will never forget!”

Last but not least: the Bensonhurst West End Community Council resumes its meetings on Monday Sept. 26, at Harway Terrace Community Room, 2475 West 16 St. (off Stillwell Avenue, near Dewey HS) at 7:30 pm. Be there or be square.

Screech at you next week!

Updated 5:26 pm, July 9, 2018: Updated to address spelling mistake in headline.
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Reasonable discourse

Joel from Ditmas Park says:
Leagally is spelled: legally.
Sept. 17, 2011, 7:14 am
Dave from Park Slope says:
We're you able to take the half a quarter still on the meter in the old days to another meter? No! So quit your screeching.

And maybe if you walked from the dry cleaner to the bank, you wouldn't be a tinge overweight.
Sept. 17, 2011, 9:30 am
trans alt from bike city says:
You will continue to be punished until you see the light and get rid of your evil polluting machine that sickens us all.
Sept. 17, 2011, 9:44 am
mike from GP says:
@Dave, couldn't have said it better myself.

Sorry, Brooklyn Paper, but Carmine's "problems" are those of the privileged. Find a real problem to complain about.
Sept. 17, 2011, 9:49 am
Or from Yellow Hook says:
trans alt is right!

You can also ride on the sidewalk, ride against traffic, ride with headphones on, and run red lights on a bike - and save the polar bears and feel superior while you are at it!

Besides - dry cleaning is going to end the word and make the tides rise and make it so we never have snow again!
Sept. 17, 2011, 11:40 am
Or from Yellow Hook says:
Dave, you could find a meter with time left on it, and park on the other guy's money, not take it with you.
Sept. 17, 2011, Noon
vacation from time says:
Get Carmine out of here
Sept. 17, 2011, 8:30 pm
s from PPW says:
-- So there you have it, folks. Moving forward, I will no longer refer to it as the “Department of Transportation.” No siree, Bob! I’m hereby calling it the “Department of Tickets!” --

Except it's the NYPD, not DOT, that issues parking tickets.

The Brooklyn Paper, which can't even afford the time it takes to spell check, needs to get its facts straight. What happened to this paper, Gersh?
Sept. 18, 2011, 4:11 am
Tony from Park Slope says:
This Carmine column sucks.
Sept. 18, 2011, 7:02 am
Ilene from Bensonhurst says:
Interesting assortment of fools you got here hurling criticsms instead of laurels. Anyone seeing the Big Screecher scooting across our communities know that Carmine is not a tad overweight-and that's why he's called the BIG Screecher.
Obviously Transportation Alternatives
have a lot of their readers reading these Courier papers, too bad these cheap-skate environmentalists don't
see the bigger picture like how bike lanes are screwing up business districts and DOT's Head trying to remake NYC into Paris. Mayor Bloomberg, the chief Robber Baron should send her there permanently and buy himself a one-way ticket too for himself!
Sept. 18, 2011, 7:24 am
Terry from Bed-Stuy says:
Brother am I confused. After I read the Screecher's last column, I said to myself, we should run this guy for mayor, but after reading the comments attacking him, I changed my mind...we should run him for President.
Sept. 18, 2011, 7:29 am
Jim from Cobble Hill says:
Big Screech, Little Brain. Invent a "problem" coming from new-fangled technology, but in reality the issue of not being able to take your paid parking meter with you has ALWAYS EXISTED! You couldn't haul the old quarter eaters with you when you moved spots and I'll bet that Carmine here would have called anyone who argued to do so (back then at least), an idiot. But now because something digital has replaced a century-old technology, Oldie McOnionbelt here has to go off on a rant which he can't even connect to the "good old days."
Sept. 18, 2011, 8:28 am
WW from Bay Ridge says:
Jim,

See: Time Left On Meter above!

The city has found a way to charge for something twice -
Sept. 18, 2011, 10:03 am
Tatiana from Bay Ridge says:
I was actually just talking to my boyfriend and some neighbors about starting a petition, having it notarized, and requesting a hearing where it is to be submitted to stop ticketing for parked spaces and cars parked more than 15 ft from hydrants (measured)!!! My car has been towed twice! 6 of those tickets were for paid meters, another for 22 ft from a hydrant....all submitted for hearing with photos. 3 other tickets were for clearly broken meters where I submittted photos with the meter number and stuck quarters!!! Ontop of it after acquiring so many tickets it is impossible to pay them ontime forcing them into judgement because only after the ticket is a hundred or more dollars with The DEPT of FINANCE allow you to make a payment plan! By the time that happens, the next thing you know, your car isn't where you left it! What do you think Bay Ridge? Do we petition?
Sept. 18, 2011, 11:30 am
WW from Bay Ridge says:
Petitions aren't worth the paper they are printed on.

Law suits get their attention.

Show Cause works well too.
Sept. 18, 2011, 12:03 pm
Tal Barzilai from Pleasantville, NY says:
I did hear once on NY Magazine that there is a way to get a parking ticket dismissed or even lowered if you can show the proof for it. They say that you should take a camera and take pictures of where you parked and show the signs that are close to you. If they are proven that your space was legal, then they will be dismissed otherwise they will not. I did use this one time. When I parked around 72nd Street and Broadway, I claimed that one of the signs didn't have any days on it, and the rest complianed as well. Although the entire fine wasn't dismissed, the surcharges were waived off, and the sign that was confusing was changed as a result to avoid any other controversy.
Sept. 18, 2011, 8:19 pm
Tal Barzilai from Pleasantville, NY says:
I did hear close to you. If that your space was legal, then they will be dismissed once on rest complianed you should take a camera and take pictures of you can show theou parked as well. Although the entire fine wasn't dismissed, the surcharges were waived off, and the sign that was confusin the signs that are where y Broadway, claimed that one of the signs didn't have NY Magazine that there is a way to get a parking ticket dismissed or even lowered if I any days on g was changed as a result to avoid any other controversy. are proven otherwise they will not. I did use this one time. When I parked around 72nd Street and proof for it. They say that and show it, and the
Sept. 18, 2011, 10:36 pm
You're priveleged says:
@mike

The "privileged" don't give a rat's arse about a $45 ticket. The poor do. When $45 is the difference between you and your kids eating dinner - and believe me, you NEVER win a ticket hearing - you'd be complaining about it too. It's not trivial, it's f**ked up. The city ruins poor people.
Sept. 19, 2011, 1:15 am
RONNY from GRAVESEND says:
Youse guys got nothing else better to do than put your filth onto paper?
If you want to express your opinion fine, but mke it pertinent to the subject matter. unless you r incapible of doin so. Go after the bad guys
instead of putting down local do-gooders working for to better the community!
Sept. 19, 2011, 1:15 am
ty from pps says:
Ilene -- Bike lanes are screwing up business districts?!?! WHAT?! I'd love to know your logic here. Jeesh. Such ignorant statements.
Sept. 19, 2011, 8:55 am
Tal Barzilai from Pleasantville, NY says:
Just to let some know about the distance from fire hydrants, they have been reduced to 10 feet recently. The best way to measure that is by putting your arm, which is supposed to a yard or 3 feet, 3 times with your foot to measure that amount. However, it would be could if all fire hydrants have curb markings, because many of them don't and make it hard for those to know the amount of space, which explains why there were politicians demanding for those markings. If you can prove that you were 10 feet from either side of the hydrant, you shouldn't be ticketed for parking there.
Sept. 19, 2011, 2:41 pm
Joe from Bensonhurst says:
Yo Carmine, you still around?
Dats good....been a long time, there.
Sept. 22, 2011, 3:16 pm
Tal Barzilai from Pleasantville, NY says:
Mike, just cut out the personal attacks. I have'nt attacked you personally, so why do you and the other zealouts from streetsblog continually hit me below the belt? Back to the issue. During Passover, I parked my car outside Beverley Raod and East t6th street to run in to get some Matzoh balls for my mother. The sign clearly said "Parking for delivery vehicles only". Since I was delivering Matzoh balls to my mother, I felt like I was in the right and the parking zealout in the wrong, as he issued me a 120 dollar ticket [even though I was only gone for 30 minutes] and put a denver-boot on my car. I told the parking zealout so, and suggestted that if he did not immediatelly release my car and pay me $1000 for emotionel distress, that I would call my lawyer Myron Zoggblotskberg and sue him, the city, and the kosher market for 10 million dollars. The guy just laughed in my face, and told me to "haul my fat ass" down to the subway station. I found his approch to be highly disrespectful., and it reminded me of the attitude of Mahmoud abbas towards the state of israel. On a side note, I saw at least 12 bikes parked along the sidewalk, and none of them had recieved a ticket for illegal parking. Clearly those streetsbloggers have infultrated the municpal parking staff.
Sept. 27, 2011, 12:09 pm
Joseph from Midwood says:
Carmine if you walked from the dry cleaner to the bank maybe you wouldn't be so fat. Quit whining you pompous ass.
Oct. 3, 2011, 11:02 am

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