The usual suspects advance in kickball playoffs

The Brooklyn Paper
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The field is down to 16.

The favorites among Brooklyn Kickball’s middling squads and bottom-dwellers advanced from the first round of the postseason on Sunday after surviving an exhausting 11 hours of dusty action in McCarren Park.

Division leaders Ramrod, Baywatch, Booze on First, Salute Your Jorts, and Bacon Bits, joined by Sugar Tits!, Recession Aggression and Kickiables, all moved on in commanding fashion to face the John Cougar Mellencamps and kickball’s other top seeded teams next weekend when the playoffs begin in earnest.

On Sunday, both Ramrod and the Bits looked impressive sweeping their three games.

The Bits mercied Tacos Taco Taco, deflated Saved by the Balls, 5–3 and cleaned up Hot Mess, 6–0, while Ramrod mercied Dolls Kicking Balls, shaved off Zeus’ Beard, 6–2, and torpedoed the Pirates, 9–3.

“Ramrod looked very good — they’re going to show some people next week,” said League Commissioner Kevin “Commish” Dailey. “Keegan ‘Eurydice’ Iodice is playing like an MVP candidate after hitting so many RBIs.”

In other games, Baywatch and Recession locked legs in a scoreless tie, but both advanced on the strength of other wins. Booze stomped on Natural Born Winners and stymied the Kickiables, 4–1. And Jorts posted a solid win over Drinkers with a Kicking Problem, 7–1, giving them a boost.

The round was marked by few surprises — the only division leader that did not advance was Diddy’s White Party, which had to scratch because it could not field enough players. Instead, Sugar Tits! wiggled its way into the second round.

But several teams’ dreams died hard on the Gilroy Field.

Kickball Fever, Kickey Mouse Club and Livin on a Prayer also had to forfeit due to lack of players.

And Hot Mess’ magical up-and-down season finally came to an end after the team finished 1–2, dropping games to the Bits and Saved by the Balls in a tough division.

But on the bright side, the team welcomed its newest player, two-week-old Lillet Jolie Lindsay, daughter of Hot Messers, David “The Mayor” Lindsay and his wife, Jolie.

“We are doing a shower for them next week, and we are getting them a sitter so they can attend the Kick ‘Ball’ on Saturday,” said Hot Mess fielder Ashley “Turtle” Terrill.

Brooklyn Kickball playoffs at Gilroy Field in McCarren Park (Bedford Avenue at N. 13th Street in Greenpoint), Sunday, 11 am–11 pm.

Updated 5:26 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

sir reginald von poopy pants from olde towne says:

i watched the sugar —— crush the other two teams they had to face after Diddy couldn't even muster a full squad to face them.

wiggled. indeed.
Sept. 13, 2011, 9:59 am
Sugar —— Fan from Greenpoint says:
Correction! The division leader of the Sugar —— bracket was Space Rabies (according to the season standings). They beat the top ranked team head to head: 7-5. Then they handed the Sisterhood a 8-5 loss. Two decisive wins, no wiggling to be seen on the Outhouse field. Just a re-focused, lean team.
Sept. 13, 2011, 10:12 am
Doctor Butthurt from Jalalabad says:

there were other teams in the Walter Frazier division were there not?

shady yellow journalism.
Sept. 13, 2011, 10:37 am
Bob Market from Williamsburg says:
Wiggled? Seriously? Those kids played their —— off. It was textbook kickballing, gritty hustling and more spirit than the Mighty Ducks, Bad News Bears and Jesus resurrected combined!
Sept. 13, 2011, 11:17 am
Bob Market from Williamsburg says:
Also, what's so bad about the word t1ts?
Sept. 13, 2011, 11:18 am
Richard Suckman from All over says:
Is it weird to anyone else that the "reporter" of this piece didn't bother to contact any of the Walt Frazier division champs when writing up this love letter to the JCMs?

This is like the FOX News of local internet only intermural sports coverage.

Fair and Balanced my arse.
Sept. 13, 2011, 11:52 am
Carl Woodward from Amity Island says:
some heated kickball action for sure, thanks Aaron! I need to get this aritcle in print! Better run down to my local key foods before all the copies are taken by people that are transporting glassware or possibly lining their parrot cages.
Sept. 13, 2011, 11:57 am
Jon Booger Fellon Tramp from billyburg says:
i liked it.

Sept. 13, 2011, Noon
Joe Longfellow from Williamsburg says:
Dear Miss Short,

I appreciate the commentary on the popular tournament, but I must disagree. After witnessing the fierce kickball play, I would say the Sugar "Chests" more aptly squirmed into the second round. Perhaps they meandered to the next round. It could be argued that they fidgeted their way in, but by no means was that performance wiggly. I am more than confident that that squad will flounder their way into the next round as well. Mark my words.
Sept. 13, 2011, 12:52 pm
Scott from Staten Island says:
How dare anyone question the work of Aaron Short. His kickball coverage is second to none — literally.

If you don't like what he writes, get your kickball coverage elsewhere.
Sept. 14, 2011, 3:17 am
Scott Is Dumb from Staten Island Sucks says:
So is your face, Scott.

so. is. your. face.
Sept. 14, 2011, 12:44 pm

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