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Call a gynecologist! ‘Vagina Tree’ is deflowered in McCarren Park

The Brooklyn Paper
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Greenpoint’s most seductive tree has given itself to the wrath of Hurricane Irene.

The so-called “Vagina Tree,” a decades-old London Plane in McCarren Park, toppled from the high winds of this weekend’s tropical storm, damaging an iron fence and a lampost as it fell.

The tree’s distinctive trunk, which looks like it has been around the block a few times, fully lived up to its nickname last April when someone anonymously pierced it with a five-inch metal ring.

The sexy neighborhood curiosity near Bedford Avenue and the McCarren Park tennis courts has attracted a Foursquare page and even hosts its own Twitter feed, @TheVaginaTree.

But Irene’s furiously swirling winds licked the tree forcefully enough to snap it just above its waist on Sunday. All that remains is a spent stump.

The Foursquare’s account is now “closed.” On Monday night, the tree Tweeted what might be its last message: “I am the stump formerly known as Vagina Tree.”

Parks officials said that it was unlikely that another tree would be planted in its place due to its expansive root system. But a new dogwood will be added to a triangular field near Lorimer Street, and a group of volunteers would tend to the park’s garden and plant several trees next month. though none resembling a Georgia O’Keefe painting.

Updated 5:26 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

Vagina Tree from McCarren Park says:
It's ok soon someone will write a musical about me, cause this tree certainly "Grew in Brooklyn"
Aug. 31, 2011, 12:27 am
teresa from greenpoint says:
Now known as The Angry Inch.
Aug. 31, 2011, 10:51 am
Or from Yellow Hook says:
Try reporting - it was a Tropical Storm that hit NY, not a hurricane - you should look up what Hurrican winds are.
Aug. 31, 2011, 1:16 pm
Mojo from Bay Ridge says:
You don't need a gynocologist. You need an OB-TREE-YN.
Aug. 31, 2011, 3:25 pm
Bevo from Austin says:
Hook 'em!
Aug. 31, 2011, 3:43 pm
Adam from Saint Petersburg, FL says:
Mojo wins.
Aug. 31, 2011, 3:47 pm
Jim from da hood says:
What's a Hurrican? A more positive version of a Hurrican't?
Aug. 31, 2011, 3:52 pm
joe from fl says:
needed something stronger than split crotch panties
Aug. 31, 2011, 4:09 pm
matroyshka from california says:
i'm just imagining those tree-things from lord of the rings reading this article. major wood.

i really think we need to clean up the internet from tree porn. ruining the children!
Aug. 31, 2011, 5:49 pm
heather from cali says:
O'Keeffe
Aug. 31, 2011, 6:57 pm
Stankleberry from NJ says:
That tree had a very hairy butthole.
Aug. 31, 2011, 7:04 pm
Lance from GPT says:
Farking hipsters
Aug. 31, 2011, 10:19 pm
Jackhole from queens says:
Shoulda had a sap smear.
Aug. 31, 2011, 10:30 pm
why from around says:
Yes, please call a gynecologist, then he or she could tell you that it would be a vulva or labia tree, not a vagina tree.
Sept. 1, 2011, 1:05 am
chris says:
If I saw a vagina that looked liek that Id run screaming in the opposite direction
Sept. 1, 2011, 9:22 am
Jo Jo from Reality says:
WOW! Such trashy mouthed people! Did any of you read the terms listed below!
Sept. 1, 2011, 10:42 am
D from Fargo says:
But Irene’s furiously swirling winds licked the tree forcefully enough to snap it

Seriously?
Sept. 1, 2011, 11:05 am
Vesperatzi from Greenpants says:
I'd drive my Vespa into that snatch, ask anyone
Sept. 2, 2011, 8:09 am

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