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Where did the gull go?

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“Sea-Lo,” the rare gray-hooded gull that landed in Coney Island last month, has been missing for nearly a week. Ornithologists have developed several working theories about the gull’s whereabouts, but we have our own:

• It’s stuck on the Soarin’ Eagle.

• The bird is actually an integral part of the federal investigation of state Sen. Carl Kruger, so he’s been put in the witness protection program.

• Took the role of Konstantin Gavrilovich Treplyov opposite Maggie Gyllenhaal at the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s Checkov retrospective this fall.

• He got priced out of Surf Avenue and moved to Bensonhurst.

• Joey Chestnut ate him.

• Appearing nightly in between innings at MCU Park.

• It is actually a common herring gull and this whole thing is a hoax.

— Aaron Short

Updated 5:25 pm, July 9, 2018
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