Mathletes master advanced kickball

The Brooklyn Paper
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One kickball team’s success this year is anything but fuzzy math.

The calculating Mathletes vaulted into second place of the Brooklyn Kickball League on Sunday after posting a series of impressive wins to start the second half of the season.

Led by captain Kiley “Algebra” Edgley and Sarah “Induction Proof” Koniarski, the team drained a tough American Blood team, 7–6, before matching a veteran Brooklyn United team, 2–2.

Now they’ve reached the top of the standings — and they’re raising eyebrows 45 degrees.

“I find their [first-place ranking] really annoying,” said Commissioner Kevin “Commish” Dailey. “I’m glad they’re enjoying their moment in the sun.”

The first-ranked John Cougar Mellencamps and third-ranked New Frontiersmen were enjoying their bye week on Sunday.

Fourth-place Brooklyn United salvaged a win against Never Scared, 7–6, in the third marquee game of the day. But it was a disappointing weekend for Ken “Easy” Breese’s fifth-ranked American Blood, which also lost to Never Scared 4-3.

As most of the action took place on Starks’ Yard, a full-strength Pony Boys cleaned up with two easy wins on the main field.

The Boys shut out Diddy’s White Party, 7–0, and crashed the Kickey Mouse Club, 8–2.

“For the first time, we had our full time, and I’m not going to lie, we played hard,” said captain Jason “The Big One” Finkel.

In other games, Diddy’s White Party beat the Sisterhood, 4–1, the Bacon Bits trounced Livin’ on a Prayer, 7–1, before Baywatch barbecued the Bits, 3–2, and the Space Cadets earned a split, losing to Kickball Fever, but beating Drinkers with a Kicking Problem.

Zeus’ Beard clipped the Kickey Mouse Club, 1–0, but the offensively inept Clubbers tied the Kickiables in a thrilling 0–0 shutout.

Dolls Kicking Balls lost both its games to Taco Taco Taco and the Kickiables, but had a lot of fun thanks to team lovebirds Ben “Jazz Hands” Jaso and Anna “Drew” Carey.

“In the first inning, Ben flew onto his side for a fast catch, then Anna had an amazing play at second right after that — they were the true power couple yesterday,” said Dolls’ Julia “Texas Tea” Morrow.

Updated 5:25 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

billy from bensonhurst says:
William Burroughs plays kickball? Weird.
July 27, 2011, 12:42 am
Sam from LES says:
Why is this Hipster garbage being reported?
July 27, 2011, 9:56 am
Steve Nitwitt from Sheepshead Bay says:
Dude, put a shirt on!!!
Aug. 3, 2011, 12:33 am

Comments closed.

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