A party so good, even our columnist hooked up

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Listen up, single guys: you blew it when you missed the Brooklyn Hookup Party at the Bell House on Thursday night, an event created specifically for hooking you up.

Yes, typical singles events are chock full of awkward tension shared by equally awkward people (yeah, I remember high school dances, too).

But the ongoing series of “Meatup” events, sponsored by the Web sites F—ed in Park Slope and Brooklyn Based, is an unstoppable sexual phenomenon. It’s like some anthropologist is filming a documentary on urban mating rituals — and then providing the booze, the music and the complete lack of inhibitions (believe me, you want to see that dissertation!).

Of course, I’m talking about the math: the ratio of gorgeous, single, Brooklyn women to average-looking men was three-to-one. And since everyone in the room was there specifically to hook up, this event was practically foreplay compared to your average night of taking your chances at a regular bar.

After a round of speed dating, a couple free beers and a move to the sweaty dance floor, sweet little Michaela Jeffries from Gowanus wasn’t having any luck.

“I haven’t found my hook-up yet — but I’m on the prowl,” she said, echoing multiple other cuties with whom I had talked. (When I checked up on her later, she was dirty dancing with some other lucky bro. Well, we’ll always have Gowanus.)

Nobody left the place with a frown. One woman, Joey Lee, got two dates — going home Thursday night with a man, but telling me that she’d already arranged a Friday night date with a woman with whom she’d also hooked up. Two nights, two dates, two sexes. Too much!

“Knowing you will probably get lucky when you show up eliminates the bulls—t of scouring a bar or club,” she said, her man on her arm.

So what about me? Normally, I don’t kiss (or go into a tent for seven minutes with a complete stranger) and tell. But remaining mute would violate the spirit of the Meatup, so I’ll let you know that my mission was accomplished (and not in the George W. Bush sense). I met Laura, possibly the cutest woman in Williamsburg, and I’m looking forward to plenty of one-on-one time.

Until the next Hookup, of course.

For info, visit

Updated 5:16 pm, July 9, 2018
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