Talk about a circle jerks!

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Circle jerks

Two bandits on bicycles stole a guy’s backpack and wallet at knifepoint as he walked back from the Canal Bar on Aug. 25.

The victim told cops he had left the Third Avenue bar at around 12:50 am and was at Sixth Avenue and St. Johns Place when thugs on bikes began to circle him in a classic playground maneuver.

The pair then dismounted, and one of them pulled a knife and pushed the 24-year-old victim against a wall. That’s when they stole his bag, containing an iPod, a Blackberry, $180, a pair of Scarpo climbing shoes and an assortment of IDs and credit cards.

Bar brawl

A boozed up bargoer smashed a bottle and slashed the bartender at Timboo’s on Fifth Avenue on Aug. 28.

The sliced server told cops he was working at the bar at 11th Street at around 4:20 am when the customer went berserk and took a swing at him with the smashed bottle. The bartender then pushed the drunk doofus to the ground, and during the scuffle, the bozo sliced him in the chest, leaving some minor cuts.

The dastardly drunkard managed to escape before cops arrived.

Stoop swipe

A thief took advantage of an absent-minded lady and stole her purse from a President Street stoop on Aug. 28.

The victim told cops that she had left her bag on her steps between Sixth and Seventh avenues at around 7 pm. When she realized her mistake 45 minutes later, the bag was gone — and with it, $40 and an assortment of IDs and credit cards.

Gear grab

A pair of thieves stole some expensive construction equipment from a work truck on 10th Street on Aug. 27.

One of the workers witnessed the bandits roll up in a blue sedan between Third and Fourth avenues at around 11:50 am and take an electric generator, a stealth saw, and a “chipping gun,” worth a total of $5,200.


A thief swiped a guy’s iPhone as a Coney Island-bound F train pulled into Seventh Avenue on Aug. 29.

The victim told cops he was on the train at around 7:45 pm when the thief made the grab and ran out of the station.

Game day

A goon broke into a Fifth Avenue apartment through the window and stole electronics on Aug. 24.

The tenant told cops that she had left her home between Garfield Place and First Street at around 4:45 pm and returned an hour later to find a window lock missing — plus her Nintendo Wii, many games, a laptop, a digital camera, and a small TV.

Hungry thief

A shameless bandit stole a mover’s lunchbox while he did his job on St. Johns Place on Aug. 23.

The worker told cops that he was moving in a client between Seventh and Eighth avenues at around 1:30 pm when he took his lunch break. That’s when he realized that his lavender lunch box was missing, along with a credit card.

Restaurant rip

Two thieves broke into a Fifth Avenue restaurant and stole thousands from the registers on Aug. 23.

Surveillance cameras caught the goons busting into the front door of the restaurant between Fifth and Sixth streets at around 5 am. The cameras also saw the thieves steal $5,500, along with another $50 from the tip jar.

Bike begone

A bike thief struck on Fifth Street on Aug. 25.

The owner of the $1,300 Cannondale told cops he had locked his fancy wheels to a fence in front of a building between Seventh and Eighth avenues at around 10:45 am, but when he returned to it seven hours later, he discovered that it had been gershed.

Film freak

A sneaky thief stole an assortment of film equipment from a truck parked in a lot on Aug 20.

An employee with “Five Alts Productions” told cops that his crew had wrapped up a shoot and parked the truck between Third and Fourth avenues at around 11:30 pm.

Surveillance cameras then revealed that the thief had hidden in the garage and waited until the crew had left. That’s when he stole an assortment of lenses, monitors, batteries, tripods, cameras, and more — all worth an undetermined amount. An employee said he has a suspect in mind.

Cars vanish

At least two cars were stolen last week:

• A 2000 Volkswagen was taken from Fourth Avenue between Ninth and 10th streets on Aug. 25. The owner told cops that he had parked it at around 7:45 am and returned to it 12 hours later.

• A 2002 Chevy Suburban disappeared from President Street overnight on Aug. 22. The owner told cops that he had parked it between Sixth and Seventh avenues at around 8 pm, but it was gone 11 hours later.

Car raiders

At least three cars were broken into:

• A thief smashed the window of a car parked on Prospect Park West and Fifth Street on Aug. 21. The owner of the 2009 Mazda said that he had parked it at around 10 am, but its window was smashed within a half-hour.

• Another car was raided in the thieves’ stomping ground: Flatbush Avenue around the Prospect Park Zoo. The owner of the auto said that she had parked it in the quiet stretch between Grand Army Plaza and Empire Boulevard at around noon. When she returned about six hours later, a window had been smashed and she was missing a navigation system, a MacBook, and a hands-free phone headset.

• A thief stole stuff from a car parked on 10th Street between Sixth and Seventh avenues overnight on Aug. 26. The owner of the 2006 Mercury said he parked it at around 7 pm, but returned the next morning to find that an airbag, a laptop, a Sirius satellite radio set and a $1,000 set of golf clubs had been taken.

— Stephen Brown

Updated 5:20 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

Robert from Windsor Terrace says:
Only one bicycle swiped this month? I'll bet there are hundreds but not reported to the police. Why don't we know how many bikes really get stolen?
Sept. 2, 2010, 10:22 am

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