A poop-smeared pugilist went to town on a 77th Street family on Feb. 28 — smearing his excrement all over the place and battling with one of his neighbors.
The victim, who lives between Third and Fourth avenues, told police that he and his girlfriend returned to their building at 5 am and were welcomed by the aroma of excrement.
The couple investigated the smell, only to find — we kid you not — a drunken man “covered in fecal matter” sitting on the stairs outside his own apartment in the building.
The man had damaged the victim’s door, which was now also “covered in fecal matter,” according to a complaint filed with the Brooklyn DA’s office.
After a furious exchange of potty mouth words, the drunken defecator attacked the victim, punching him in the mouth and biting his hand as the duo wrestled on the floor.
The victim’s girlfriend called 911, and cops soon took away the 42-year-old fecal felon.
It’s the second straight week that a filthy crime has graced these pages. Last week, a drunk man mistook a Livingston Street tower for the Brooklyn Marriott, where he was staying, and relieved himself all over the building in a drunken stupor. He returned the next night, red-faced, and apologized.