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Drink and donate — but not at the same time!

for The Brooklyn Paper
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It’s the best trade you’ll ever make.

Throughout March, the Kelso of Brooklyn brewery will give you a pint of their delicious beer for a pint of your blood — which your body will regenerate in a few weeks anyway.

You don’t even have to haul the sack of plasma to the Fort Greene brewery yourself — just give blood at any blood bank, then bring your receipt to a participating pub, like The Brazen Head on Atlantic Avenue or Williamsburg’s Spuyten Duyvil.

The city is in the midst of a “blood emergency” with supplies in the “danger zone,” according to the New York Blood Center, so your blood-for-beer trade could save lives.

And as if that isn’t enough of an incentive, consider this: if you quaff your free brew after giving your corpuscles, you’ll get more buzzed than usual, since you’ll have less blood in your alcohol system.

Let’s make on thing clear: Doctors recommend against drinking and donating. But The Brooklyn Paper conducted its own, admittedly unscientific, investigation and discovered that those sawbones are missing out on some fun.

Normally, one pint of brewmaster Kelly Taylor’s potent Kelso Nut Brown Lager gets a 160-pound drinker to a blood-alcohol level of .03 — a level at which drinkers would experience that pleasantness of “lowered alertness,” according to a medical textbook.

But that same beer will get a blood donor up to a .04, which produces “disinhibit­ion” and “extroversi­on.” As we say in our DUMBO newsroom, “Boo-yeah!”

But don’t think you can donate another pint and get a second free brew — taking you to the “emotional swings” and “impaired sexual pleasure” level of inebriation. Alas, the standard 56-day blood-donation waiting period applies.

To participate in Kelso of Brooklyn’s “Pint for a Pint” blood drive, visit kelsoofbrooklyn.com to print your donation coupon. Participating bars include The Brazen Head [228 Atlantic Ave. between Court Street and Boerum Place in Boerum Hill, (718) 488-0430]; Spuyten Duyvil [359 Metropolitan Ave. at Havemeyer Street in Williamsburg, (718) 962-4140] and the Waterfront Ale House [155 Atlantic Ave. between Clinton and Henry streets in Boerum Hill, (718) 522-3794].

Updated 5:11 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

Tim "toolman" Taylor from West Coast says:
Hey Zeke! I'm in Mukilteo, WA reading your article. Thought you should call Kelly of Kelso and follow up...seems the bloodbank is full and wants him to stop Pint for Pint! Some folks just don't have a sense of humor anymore...
We're going to try free pizza out West. Pint for Pound!
March 3, 2009, 7:23 pm
Robert Johnson from Cayuta, NY says:
Will you send me a Pint(s) to the Finger Lakes. How many pints are in the body. How about a challenge!
March 22, 2009, 6:25 pm

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