After a man and woman spent a whole evening chatting flirtatiously on Sept. 25, it turned out that all the man wanted to get into was her purse.
The lady told cops that she’d met the handsome stranger at a “finer diner” on Ninth Street at Eighth Avenue. They chatted for a while, and as she was leaving the restaurant at around 11:30 pm, the man offered to walk her to the subway.
But as they were walking the two feet from the diner’s front door to the F-train stop, the man tore the handbag from his swain’s arm and ran away.
The crook netted $1,135 in valuables — including the bag. But for the victim, knowing her erstwhile suitor wasn’t after anything but her possessions must have hurt so much more.
One man’s early morning stroll on 11th Street on Sept. 27 ended with a trip to the hospital.
The 59-year-old man was walking near the playground between Second and Third avenues at around 1 am when someone came up behind him and smacked him in the head with an unknown object.
The victim told cops that he had no idea who the cranial criminal was or what he wanted.
Someone stole a laptop computer from the Brooklyn Public Library’s central branch on Sept. 24.
The computer disappeared from a conference room at the branch, which is on Grand Army Plaza at Eastern Parkway, at around 6 pm. Cops saw a man enter the room on a surveillance video, but it is unclear if he was the perp.
A smooth-handed pickpocket stole a man’s debit card from his wallet as he was napping on a bench in Prospect Park on Sept. 9.
The man told cops he fell asleep on the bench, on the corner of Prospect Park West and 15th Street, only to wake up at 10 am and find his wallet a little lighter.
When he checked with his bank, the man learned that the crook had charged $866 to the card.
Owners of old Honda Civics, beware! Thieves love your car!
• On Sept. 22, someone stole a blue 1994 Honda Civic that had been parked on 11th Street between Fifth and Sixth avenues.
• Two days later, a gray 2000 Civic was taken from the corner of Eigthth Avenue and 14th Street at around 10 am.
Take the gun, leave the panties
Perhaps hoping to recreate the famous Monty Python sketch, two crooks held up a Fifth Avenue lingerie store on Sept. 23.
The first brassiere burglar entered the store, which is between Douglass and Baltic streets, at around 3:30 pm and told the clerk he needed something for his girlfriend because she was mad at him.
The second perp entered right after and asked to use the toilet. When the clerk refused, he pulled a silver revolver on her and said, “I’m not gonna hurt you.” As he held her up, the first perp rifled the register and made off with $250.
— Evan Gardner