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Gersh’s outrage!

The Brooklyn Paper
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Bob Dylan is notoriously elusive as an artist, but that’s no way to sell concert tickets.

The legendary recluse didn’t bother to announce his Aug. 12 show in Prospect Park, but merely posted it on his Web site, bobdylan.com, and offered registered fans a secret password so they could get advance tickets.

Nice. You may own more than 30 Dylan albums, you may revere him as the voice of an entire generation (or two!), and you may even be the kind of person willing to pay $100 for a ticket to a Bob Dylan show — but if you don’t check his Web site every morning, you’re out of luck.

Of course, the best seats sold out within hours (despite a $12 per ticket fee from Ticketmaster, too).

I was so angry about the whole thing, that I took Dylan’s celebrated relationship screed, “Positively 4th Street” and gave it a few new lyrics.

Take this, Bobby Z!

“Postively Outraged”

Music by Bob Dylan; Lyrics by Gersh Kuntzman

You’ve got a lotta nerve
To not announce it publicly
Do you think I’m always on your Web site?
You got a lotta nerve
To think I’d even care
All I wanted was a proper invite.
You got a lotta nerve
To snub your biggest fans.
It really ain’t so hard, you know, to please us
You got a lotta nerve
You really pissed me off
I stuck with you when you prayed to Jesus!
Do you take me for such a fool
To think I’d buy tickets.
When they cost a hundred bucks — plus surcharge!
I know the reason
That you didn’t make it known.
You knew the price for tickets was just too large.
You know as well as me
Your vocal chords don’t work so well.
In fact, you can’t hit any notes to save you.
Maybe I’ve lost my faith
But it’s not all my fault.
I saw your show last year, and felt I was screwed.
I wish that for just one time
I could skip a Dylan show.
And just for that one moment, save my paycheck.
Yes, I wish that for just one time
I could skip a Dylan show.
But I just bought a ticket to this trainwreck.

Gersh Kuntzman is the Editor of The Brooklyn Paper. E-mail Gersh at gkuntzman@cnglocal.com
Updated 5:06 pm, July 9, 2018
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Reasonable discourse

bokhara from Flatbush says:
He did a fan club presale so that his fans get the tix. Makes sense to me. And the password wasn't secret. It was there for all to see.

The info was on expectingrain.com first thing on the morning of the sale - that is the website all dylan fans visit everyday - not bobdylan.com.
June 6, 2008, 12:44 pm
Five Believers from Prospect Heights says:
You actually do not need to be registered to anything to get the pre-sale password. It's free, and made available to the public before the on-sale time.

There was some advance notice. It was featured on some popular NYC live music blogs. And if you have "Bob Dylan" listed under your "Favorite music" in Facebook you received a notice by email in advance.

This is a relatively small venue for Dylan to be playing, so it's going to sell out no matter what. And what's so wrong about the die-hards getting the best seats? I once saw Dylan play an 800 seat venue in an Atlantic City casino and the up-front tables went exclusively to high rollers.

Sounds like sour grapes for not getting a scoop.

Well at least it's good to know that you like Bob!
June 6, 2008, 12:52 pm
Martin Van Nostrand from NYC says:
The Celebrate Brooklyn website doesn't have the gig listed either. Do you have a rant for them too?
June 6, 2008, 2:02 pm
Gus from SF says:
he may be a legendary recluse, maybe because of dopes like kuntzman. this show wasn't a secret. no need to take out an ad in the times either.

GK, did you also write rants to your friends who didn't tell you about the show?

lame.
June 6, 2008, 3:38 pm
Realistic from Bay Ridge says:
Of course, it is the responsibility of the promoter to announce the show, not the artist.
June 6, 2008, 8:16 pm

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