The great thereafter?

The Brooklyn Paper
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What is heaven? What is hell? We hit the streets to find out.

Chris Havens, Boerum Hill, real estate broker
That reminds me of a joke: A real-estate broker shows up in heaven and it’s a closing. He says, “Wait, I wonder what hell is.” It turns out, hell is a closing, too. He asks about it, and Satan says, “In heaven, the sale actually closes.”

Ron Schweiger, Flatlands, Brooklyn Borough Historian
Heaven is a vacation in a beautiful paradise, or a cooperative classroom. Hell is when a teacher has a class that won’t be quiet.

Susan Liddell, DUMBO, bike mechanic
Heaven is someplace where people are able to get along with with no drama. Hell is a day filled with working on French bicycles.

Ken Siegelman, Bensonhurst, poet laureate of Brooklyn
Heaven is what you make of it in this life and the coming life. Hell is living with illness.

Greg O’Connell, Cobble Hill, developer
Heaven is family and health. Hell? Luckily, I haven’t found that yet.

Page Neal, Prospect Heights, jewelry designer
Heaven is being positive and focused with lots of snacks and beaches in the mix. Hell is having an office job where I am surrounded by non-funny people who think that talking in strange accents is amusing.

Simcha Weinstein, Brooklyn Heights, rabbi, Pratt Institute
Heaven is the culmination of all the good deeds a person has done. You’re building your own paradise. It’s the difference between ‘being’ and ‘becoming.’ This world is the ‘becoming.’ Hell is all the good deeds you could have done, but didn’t do when you had the chance.

Updated 4:28 pm, July 9, 2018
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