Vito’s virtual friends

The Brooklyn Paper
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If MySpace were a high school, Rep. Vito Fossella (R-Bay Ridge) would be the captain of the football team. That’s how wildly popular the Republican Congressman is on the social networking site.

Despite the fact that Fossella has called sites like MySpace “feeding grounds for sexual predators” and has urged parents to limit their children’s access, the “Friends for Fossella” MySpace page — created by a campaign volunteer with the help of campaign staff — has a whopping 1,582 friends, some of them under 18.

That’s impressive even by virtual reality standards. But if voters were to judge a man by the company he keeps, Vito Fossella would be in big trouble with many of his socially conservative constituents.

A number of Fossella’s virtual friends are crude, rude, porno wannabes who make the most of the sexually charged, anything-goes atmosphere online.

In order to make friends on MySpace, one member must request another’s “friendship.” The recipient of the request has the opportunity to review the other’s page and determine whether or not to reject the overture.

In the spirit of this online political era, The Brooklyn Papers concocted a MySpace character called “Polly Amorous.” “Polly” defines herself as a bisexual “swinger” and “atheist” who doesn’t want to have kids. Her profile features a voluptuous, scantily clad cartoon character in bondage.

Would Fossella want to be friends with “Polly”? To test whether “Friends for Fossella” would “just say no” to the friendship request — and, frankly, to have a little fun — “Polly” invited the Fossella campaign to be her friend. She was accepted, no questions asked.

Fossella’s staff was quick to point out that Fossella had no direct involvement with the MySpace page.

“The campaign helped a volunteer with establishing the site, but does not at this point operate officially nor control its content,” said Matthew Mika, Fossella campaign manager.

“Unfortunat­ely, there will always be a small percentage of people who misuse or abuse any technology. The fact that some would post material that could be considered inappropriate on this or any site demonstrates that point.”

And so does the following sampling of Vito’s “friends.”

Friend’s screen name Interests Quote
Senor S---salot
(male, 31)
Heroin, cherub-like whores, masturbators, blood, David Lynch films “I got the cancer from esmoking a lot. Now I s---s a lot.”
Hysterical Glamour
(female, 26)
Dropped crotch jeans, graffiti, stuffed artichokes “I look for girls with soft teeth/Girls who have dust on the floss in their medicine cabinet/It taunts me/I kiss and lavish my tongue on their molars and bicuspids.”
MaH Sw4gg3r
(male, age unknown)
Action Movies, R&B “I love pretty women with fat azzez.”
Satisfaction Guarantee
(female, 19)
“The L Word,” Ladies Night “Every word of this you deserve … I loved you SO MUCH it turned into HATE.”
(male, 19)
Conservatism, baseball, running “The opposite sex has many fascinating body parts.”
Updated 4:00 pm, November 10, 2010
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